Hera's third diary
by Rafi77
Summary: This is another story told by Hera. I've made Zeus' children who live on Olympos young, just so everyone knows. It's nothing that interesting, but anyway, I hope you like it.


Dear Diary,

I really don't know what to write today. I've been working so hard these days; I'm completely exhausted. I can't believe that Zeus has stuck me with this job. My job is hard enough already without him making it worse. But of course, I forgot he's definitely one of the reasons why this is so hard. Apart from tired I'm also extremely sad. So Zeus has gone off again as usual and he's left me here to take care of all of _his _children. He should be the one here, looking after them, not me. I'm not their mother. A lot of times like now for example, I get really angry at what he's making me do. He's brought me all these children here to Olympos and he's made me act like their mother. He's making this so hard, doesn't he understand how painful this is for me, to watch him leave me every single day and leave me here waiting for the day to be over and to deal with the others' problems, and then doing the same thing every day. I can never look forward to tomorrow any more. I used to think, a long time ago, that tomorrow will be a better day, I used to hope that at least. But every single day is getting worse. Zeus doesn't care about me. Why else would he be sticking me with this responsibility?

I also hate the fact that everyone thinks of me as their mother. I have to take care of everything around here, and if something goes wrong, it's all my fault. But still, I need to be honest. This isn't entirely all making me angry. I mean, of course it is, I thought that I didn't even like Zeus' children. I especially didn't like Dionysos, our latest arrival on Olympos. At least at first I didn't. But now, now this…job, even though it's frustrating, I really feel that it's starting to get less irritating to me. I feel that I love them. I don't know why, but somewhere in my mind, taking care of them every day has made me feel like I really am their mother. It would be so wonderful just to pretend that they really are our children and not just Zeus'. But it's no use dreaming, because that'll never happen. I just think of that to ease the pain and to make me think that Zeus really does love me.

The only person who's comforting me is Aphrodite. There's nothing that she doesn't understand about love, nothing that escapes her. I have to admit I thought she was a bit silly at first, but then I realised that on the subject of love she might actually know what she's talking about. I never knew she could be so…mature. But she is one of the oldest goddesses here anyway. But I still can never really feel completely better. Maybe it was just my fate to live a horrible life. But why me? What did I do wrong? Why not Zeus? I think he definitely deserves to live an unhappy life.

I really don't understand why I'm having all these strange feelings. I really think that I love my husband's children, I love Athena, I love Apollo and Artemis, I even love Dionysos. I think it might be because I've got used to looking after them now. I was really angry at first, but now I've got used to my role as stepmother. Maybe I should try to be a bit nicer to them as well, they've done nothing wrong after all, and they have nothing to do with how badly Zeus is behaving. I sighed while my mind suddenly went back to what I did to Dionysos' mother. I smiled secretly at the thought, but now that I think about it, even I can't get over the thought that I killed someone's mother.

Mine and Zeus' relationship has got even worse now. Ever since Dionysos moved in, basically. He knows what I did after all and now he barely talks to me any more, and I'm starting to feel empty inside, like I'm there for everyone else but no one is there for me.

Just while I was thinking this, I heard my door open and Dionysos run in. "How many times have I told you to knock?" I asked him, kind of annoyed that my relaxing was being disturbed. "Sorry," he said. "Can I ask you a question?"

I sighed deeply and waited. "What is it?" I asked. I'm really not in the mood to talk to him right now. Another strange thing about being with Dionysos is that he's lived here most of his life so he thinks that I'm his mother. He doesn't even know that I'm actually exactly the opposite of his mother. Dionysos looked at me kind of confused and said, "You're not really my mother, are you?"

That surprised me a lot and I felt my cheeks burning. Why was he asking me this? "No," I finally said to him. "I'm not. And yet I'm kind enough to take you in. Just do me a favour and don't ask any questions. You're not old enough to understand now. I'll tell you all about it one day. Just not now. For now I just think you should know that…that your father loved your mother very much and I'm sure he wishes that he were with her now instead of me. Please forget about all of this now. I can't bear to think about it," I couldn't help the tears that were running down my cheeks. I couldn't stand how innocent this child looked just asking about where his mum was. As any child would.

"Why are you crying, Hera?" he asked me quietly. "What happened to my mum?"

"You're not old enough to know now. Ask your father if you want. Life is confusing enough already for me. Even though I'm not your mother I think you should know, and take this advice from me, don't doubt that I love you as if I was. I know I shouldn't and it's crazy of me but I do, and that's the truth. Just…just don't tell your father what I told you. I don't want him to know. Go back inside now. We'll talk again later if you want."

"OK," he said and hurried back inside. When he left I burst into tears all over again. I didn't know exactly what I was crying about, I was just crying about everything, the way my life had ended up, and everything like that. But then after a few minutes I calmed down and decided to get everyone ready for dinner. Who knows when Zeus is coming back? I don't really care anyway. I've decided to stop getting involved in his life. He's stopped getting involved in mine anyway. It's like we're strangers living in the same house now. That's what it's like, and it breaks my heart to think about it, but I have to be strong. I am independent and I don't have to depend on Zeus any more. Or anyone. I can just handle everything by myself.

On the way down I bumped into Artemis, who had been outside all day. She's really not like her brother Apollo, even though they both love archery. I really know more about Zeus' children than he does, I thought to myself darkly. I like both the twins though, they really make me laugh sometimes as well, being so lively. "What are you doing honey?" I asked her and picked her up in my arms. "Oh, look what you've done you little rascal, your dress is filthy. Come on, let's go clean that off."

"It was all Apollo's fault," Artemis laughed. "Oh by the way Daddy told me to tell you he's coming back in a few minutes and that he really needs to talk to you."

I was vaguely surprised at this as I carried Artemis to the bathroom. "Did he mention what he needs to talk to me about?" I asked vaguely. "No," she shook her head. "I think you should make up with him though, I know you've been fighting. Why do you always fight with him?"

"That's absolutely none of your business little Artemis," I told her and tapped her nose with my finger. "Your dad might be a good person really but what happens between us is just between him and me."

"All right," Artemis smiled slyly. Could Zeus really be planning to, sort of get back together let's say? But no, of course not. He'll probably just be nagging me about how I need to keep everyone under control and stop their noise. I'm getting tired of that anyway. "Good," I said to Artemis. "Take that dress off now."

After I bathed her and towelled her dry and gave her new clothes I let her go, because I have some things to think about right now. "There you go. This time try to stay clean for more than a day. Dinner's ready if you're hungry, I'll be there in a few minutes."

Artemis ran along happily, while suddenly I found myself wishing more than anything that I could be as young as her again. I sighed as I remembered what it was like then when I heard Zeus walk in through the door. I walked over to him sadly, waiting for another lecture about how I need to make sure that everyone stays put. But it didn't go exactly like that.

"Hi darling," he said to me and kissed me.

"Artemis told me you needed to talk to me," I told him simply.

"I did," he said and his smile faded and he led me to the sofa to sit down. But then I sighed deeply and told him, "Look, before you say anything I just think you should know that I've been keeping everyone under control, and I was just on the brink of telling Dionysos what really happened to his mother," I added bitterly.

Zeus sighed and started off. "But you listen to me now. I came here to tell you that I'm sure that you think that I was with another girl today, and I was," he said. I was confused. What exactly was he trying to tell me, that he wants a divorce? Well, good riddance, I thought. I don't care. But then he smiled at me and took my hands. "But I didn't do anything." He paused there and his eyes searched my face, and then he carried on. "I just left, Hera, and the only thing I was doing today was wondering what I could do to make you see sense. I don't want you to be like this, thinking that I don't love you or that I'm forcing you to look after my children. I just think you should know that the only reason that I kept going away these past few days was just to try and figure out what to do. These days you've seemed so depressed and I don't want to see you like that any more. I just think you should know that I love you more than anything."

After he finished I just sat there, completely surprised and shocked. I didn't know whether I wanted to laugh or cry. I wanted to hear what he said again and again. He loves me. How wonderful that sounds…I've been waiting my whole life to hear that. "I love you too," I managed to whisper and Zeus took me in his arms and hugged me tight. "And I swear to you now," he carried on, "that if I ever go with another woman again you have my full permission never to talk to me again!"

"That's good to know!" I told him half laughing half crying. Just when I was thinking that my life couldn't get any worse, this comes up. I suddenly felt happier than I had ever been in my life right then. "The thing is," Zeus said again, "I realised that all you do nowadays is sit around crying and I don't want you to do that any more. From now on I'll be here for you and for everyone."

Somehow, that made me a bit disappointed. I had realised like I said that I really liked taking care of the children now, even though I had always wished that Zeus were here to do that for me. I really had mixed feelings right now! "Well, you don't have to look after us _all_ the time," I told him. "I was just getting used to this job! Besides, I really grew to love everyone, don't worry. And I didn't always sit around crying anyway. I gave Artemis a bath today for example," I said jokingly, and then looked over to where Artemis was playing, dirty again. "Which I'll have to do again tomorrow!" I said and we both laughed. "You know how happy you're making me now that you told me that, my love," I added quietly. Zeus smiled and stroked my hair. "You're their mother now," he told me. "They're as much yours as they are mine. Never doubt that I love you from now on."

At that moment Aphrodite peeked in through the door and smiled. "Come on you two, dinner's getting cold!" she said. While she stood at the door I saw her give me a wink. I smiled. This was something else that Aphrodite must have sensed was happening. I knew she was clever. And now I think that my life will change. At least it won't be the same. It could even be better. Let's just wait and see, shall we?

THE END


End file.
